Toxic Positivity at Work: When Encouragement Becomes Avoidance
We’ve all heard it.
“Let’s keep the energy high!”
“It could be worse!”
“Everything happens for a reason!”
“Let’s stay positive and push through!”
These phrases might seem harmless — even helpful — in the moment. But when positivity is used to skip over reality, it stops being support… and starts being silence dressed up in a smile.
And that’s when positivity turns toxic.
What Is Toxic Positivity?
Toxic positivity is the insistence on positive thinking while ignoring, minimizing, or outright dismissing valid emotions, struggles, and hard truths.
It’s “good vibes only” in a team meeting when someone just lost a family member.
It’s “focus on the wins!” after someone brings up a real concern.
It’s “we’re like a family here” when trust has already eroded and no one feels safe enough to speak.
The intention might be to uplift.
But the impact? Silence. Shame. Shut down.
Fake Culture Doesn’t Create Real Connection
When leaders rely on surface-level positivity, they unknowingly create a culture where:
People feel like they can’t bring up problems
Emotions are seen as distractions
Honesty is labeled as “negative energy”
Teams perform — but they don’t trust
And eventually, people stop talking.
They start suppressing.
They disengage.
And they leave — emotionally first, then physically.
Why We Do It (and Why It Backfires)
Let’s be honest: most leaders who lean into toxic positivity aren’t trying to cause harm.
They’re trying to hold it together.
They don’t want to bring the room down.
They’re scared they won’t know what to say if someone actually opens up.
But here’s the truth:
Avoiding discomfort doesn’t prevent conflict.
It just delays the collapse.
Real leadership means being able to sit in the tension — not cover it in motivational quotes.
How to Lead with Realness Instead
Want a team that communicates, trusts, and sticks around? Tip: Avoiding discomfort doesn’t prevent conflict. It just delays the collapse
Here’s where to start:
1. Validate, don’t dismiss.
Instead of: “Don’t worry, it’ll all work out!”
Try: “That sounds really heavy. Thanks for sharing it with me.”
2. Make room for the messy.
Your job isn’t to fix everyone’s emotions.
Your job is to make space for them without judgment.
3. Set the tone from the top.
If you never share when you’re struggling, your team won’t either.
Vulnerability isn’t weakness — it’s leadership.
4. Say “I don’t know” more.
Real trust comes from honesty, not certainty.
You don’t have to have every answer. You just need to be present.
Truth Is a Leadership Skill
Your team doesn’t need you to be endlessly upbeat.
They need you to be honest.
Grounded. Present.
Human.
Because when people feel seen — even in the hard stuff — they show up more fully.
And that’s how real culture is built.
Not through forced smiles… but through felt safety.
Ready to Lead with More Honesty (and Less Hustle)?
Let’s figure out what’s really going on with your team — and rebuild from the root.
Apply to Work With Bella Vita and let’s build a team culture that works for everyone.
